Monday, October 25, 2010

"The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire; the size of your dream; and how you handle disappointment along the way"

--Robert Kiyosaki

I didn't get the Disney internship. I'm disappointed. Disappointed that I didn't get it. Disappointed that I won't get the experience. Disappointed that I wasn't good enough. Most of all I'm disappointed that when I got the e-mail I thought, "That doesn't surprise me."

I've never had a lot of self esteem. Mostly about my appearance. My personality, however, I'm proud of. For some reason it really bothers me that I can't seem to shake the nagging thought that I'm not surprised I didn't get the Disney internship. Why don't I think I'm good enough? Why COULDN'T I work there? What did all the other applicants have that I didn't?

I had an interview again with Vail Resort but it turned out to be a wash. They didn't have any internships open for PR or really anything like it. I didn't even get offered an interview for the Maui Jim internship I applied for. All of these rejections are making me think I'm not good enough. There's been very few jobs I've applied for and haven't gotten. I do have a good personality and I know that. I've been told a lot that I interview really well. So why can't I get these internships?

My last internship before I decide to look for places at home is St. Jude. Honestly, if I don't even get an interview with St. Jude I'll be crushed. I don't know what I'll do. It will be such a huge blow to my confidence. The only thing that kept me from being beyond disappointed that I didn't get the Disney internship is that I had finally decided that St. Jude is where my heart is. Crushed. That's all I can say if I don't get it.

So now I wait. I've applied for a PR internship with Red Cross at home but haven't heard anything else. I'm going to look at other places as well.

Can someone just hand me one?

1 comment:

  1. soulie. interviews are terrible. I know, I graduated two years ago and just now got a job. it's hard when there are millions of people graduating and only a handful of jobs available. you just gotta keep pluggin away until you get it and never give up cuz I know you are one of the most amazing people on earth and soon enough a company will see that too. and you just gotta think about it in the long run, those other positions weren't the ones for you and you will find one that will be a perfect fit and open up so many doors for you that you wouldn't have even known about if you were hired at these other places.

    also in case you were wondering, I love you <3

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