"Without you here, don't know what to do, I'd give anything just to talk to you, Oh, it breaks my heart" --Caitlin and Will

Warning: This will likely be a sad post.

Have you ever lost someone? I'm sure that answer is yes for most. There's days that I'm okay, and then there's days that the heartbreak is so fresh it feels like it just happened. I think of the simple fact that I won't see him again. For a really, really, really long time. It's indescribable, the pain that comes over me. The immediate jab of realization. There's so much going on in my life and I always got to talk to him about it. I always got to hear how proud of me he was when things were going well and his encouragement when things weren't. With everything happening with my potential internship in Vail.. I want to tell him everything so bad. He would be so excited for me. He'd talk about visiting me with Grandma.

Why did all of this spring up today? I called my Grandma to talk. Her phone was off and her voicemail came on right away. Silly reason, right? Except that Grandma cancelled her phone and uses Grandpa's old one. So the voicemail that greeted me was, "Hi, this is Bill Emhoff." Ever since he's been gone I hang up the phone before it gets to voicemail. There hasn't been once that I've called and not had time to prepare for his voice coming over the phone. It caught me off guard and took my breath away.

Today is a hard day. Sometimes it just happens. I think, in a way, it gets harder as time goes on. I'm sure there will be a point when it's not hard to see his picture and I'll want to call and hear his voice, but it's hard getting to that point. It makes it hard to breathe and hard to think.

There is absolutely no words to describe heartbreak. It eats at you and leaves you speechless. You want to scream how bad it hurts, but it leaves you with no words or breath in your system. There is so much inside of me that I wish I could express about how I feel right now, but nothing will ever compare.

Absolutely no words.

However, this song does a great job of capturing it. As I warned, this post is sad and this song is no different, but the lyrics are amazing and capture feelings that are so hard to describe in such a meaningful way. Check it out.

"No address in the stars" --Caitlin and Will


This one is also one of the most intense songs I've ever heard. Ace Enders is one of the best musicians (in my humble opinion) that has come around and I don't think he gets enough credit.