There's a reason this is tattooed on my foot. Sometimes I need a gentle reminder that I am on a journey, not on a one way, smooth, straight road towards my inevitable passing. I'm on a road that runs through the mountains with rock slides, highs and lows, dangerous curves, and roads so narrow you feel you could fall right off the edge. But the scenery among it all, is worth it. Because there's times you can see the thick snow flakes fall gently and quietly onto the ground around you in the winter and catch a glimpse of the glimmering lake below you that's formed from the melting snow in the summer. Yes, I'll refer my life's journey to a road in the Rockies.
Lately I've had a little more of the overcast days with a little glimmer of sun that makes you think it will be an okay day, but only for a little while, and then the sun goes away. That's how I'll describe it. Nothing major. No health problems, except for the occasional ankle annoyance. I have a place to live. (ish... working on the fall.) And I'm able to feed myself. I have an abundance of the things that I need to survive. It's just small little things. Like someone you haven't talked to in years who randomly comes back into your life. A weird moment with someone who has been in your life for a long time. And money that seems to disappear as soon as it comes. So yes, an overcast day with occasional breaks in the clouds.
I decided to not be really personal in this blog. To not "out" my personal instances to the general public. So most of this will be vague. Mostly just a background story to get my point across.
People from my past have been sprouting up like red roses on Valentine's Day. Seriously. And out of nowhere. And it's like nothing has changed. But it has. Grown up and definitely in it for different things, but I'm still amazed at how random and how it has actually been nice to catch up. And not just one person, but many. It's always so strange talking to someone(s) that you thought were out of your life for good, don't you agree?
And weird moments. Have you ever had that moment with someone you've known for a long time of the opposite sex and think "whoa..." Weird, right? That's all I can describe it as. And my reaction was "uh..." Fitting, I think.
And money. Ugh. My shifts have been cut (and by cut I mean I went from working nearly every day to barely getting 3). What this means is my bills are piling up and the money to pay them isn't doing the same. Why does it seem that everything needs to be paid all at once? Sticker registration for my car, security deposit for my apartment in the fall, cell phone payment, credit card payment, parking tickets, books for school, school in general. How, exactly, is a student supposed to pay for all of that? Obama, you better be doing WORK in the White House to help out future students, because Lord knows we need it and apparently society hasn't gotten the memo.
It all comes down to looking at my foot, as weird as that sounds, and remembering the entire phrase that inspired a permanent ink blotch on my foot. Because in the grand scheme of things, this is just another bump in my Rocky Mountain road of happiness.
For a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin -- real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life. This perspective has helped me to see there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. So treasure every moment you have and remember that time waits for no one. HAPPINESS IS A JOURNEY, not a destination
--Alfred D'Souza
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