The past year or so has left me with more wedding invitations and baby announcements than I care to admit to. Mostly because I hate thinking of becoming an "A word".** I've also spent time consoling friends with break ups. It's the usual, I think, that happens around this time in a young "A Word" 's life. If you're in a relationship with someone you spend your time trying to figure out whether you want to spend the rest of your life with that person. If the answer is yes- here comes the wedding and the baby carriage. If the answer is no- well, good luck to both parties involved.
I guess what I don't understand, though, is why so fast? You have the rest of your life to spend with one person. Yes, yes, I know, "but you never know what tomorrow will bring. What if you die?" Forgive me for being slightly optimistic that I will live past 30. And trust me, I've seen my fair share of that tomorrow never coming. It's just that in the majority of cases you will live to be old enough to become BFF's with your neighbor in the nursing home. At least, that's what I hope for all of you.
So what's the hurry? Why are you so eager to get married and settle down so soon? We're all young and have so much ahead of us. We have all the time in the world to sit with one other person. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, and I'm sure I'll get some backlash for this whole post, but getting married when there are literally thousands of people that you will meet (unless you're a hermit) in the next 10 years. That's thousands of potential soulmates. That alone makes me smile. So many people to meet and you never know when "that" person is going to come along. Get out and explore!
Another aspect that has happened within the last couple of years is friends who have drifted from their long term boyfriends or girlfriends and immediately jumped into another relationship. I have friends and acquaintances that I have never been able to say their name without adding "and __insert boyfriend or girlfriend's name here__." I've spent a lot of time single. More time than I care to go into. But I'm okay with it. I didn't used to be because I saw so many people with significant others that I felt like I was missing out. But as I grow up (ew) I realize that it made me who I am. I know myself better than 85% of the people I know. So many rely on another person to make them who they are that the minute their significant other isn't in the picture they go into meltdown mode. I think everyone needs to take some time to be single. Just you. Alone. Yes, alone. Lonely. One. You will learn more about yourself than you ever cared to think to know. And you know what? It's good for you.
For instance, if I had a boyfriend, how would I be able to move across the country to Colorado for an internship for 6 months? Something that I truly WANT to do and will make me SO happy. How do you explain that? "Yep, sorry, Imma be gone for 6 months... you can come visit though...."
Yes, I know that in some cases it works out. But again I bring you back to... YOU MEET SO MANY PEOPLE. So many people in this world to meet every single day and only being 23 and settling down with one other person limits experiences in so many ways. And above all... I get to go out and not have to worry who I have to answer to in the morning. That's pretty awesome.
I'm sure there will be backlash for this post. But it's been on my mind as I get wedding invitation after wedding invitation in the mail and log onto Facebook to see ".... is engaged to ...". It's not that I'm not happy for those who are getting married. I am. I am truly happy for each and every one of you. For me, though, I'll wait until I'm in my 30's. I've got a whole lot of living to do and a whole lot of places I want to go and people I want to see... when the time comes, maybe I'll settle down. Until then I'll spend my time living out the dreams I have that can't be share simultaneously with someone else without there being repercussions.
**For those who don't know me, the "A word" is Adult. AKA sucktastickness. And that's a word. Look it up.
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